Everyone’s Talking About Matriarchy…

In the last couple of months countless of people have reached out to me, unprompted, saying some version of the same thing:

“Have you seen what’s happening online right now?”
“There’s so much conversation about matriarchy!”
“I feel like the world is really ready for your work.”

My first reaction to these messages? Not what you might expect.

I wanted to plug my fingers in my ears and say “Lalalala I can’t hear you”

One reaction like this, I could brush aside. But so many in a row? Especially in response to what *should* feel like good news? About the world wanting me and my work?

I knew I had to dig deeper.

So I took my own medicine and brought this reaction, this character, into a somatic practice (try it with your own resistance or reluctant parts here).

Here’s what came forward:

First, there’s a part of me that has been very happy in the season I’m in right now: being deeply present as a mom, running my business in a very spacious, part-time way, supporting my clients, but largely staying inside a comfortable little bubble.

I like to call her “DIY Mom” Emily because she’s happy just taking care of her kids and homemaking.

She prides herself on being present, on making her kids life great, and making things from scratch.

DIY Mom Emily actually loves having a private life and not a big business.

She cringed the first time I posted a dancing video online, looked away from that vulnerable podcast share. Felt a massive ick when I sold my heart out in workshop after workshop last year.

She’s who’s putting her fingers in her ears saying “la la la” because she’s really comfy where she is, more offline, just focusing on her family.

DIY Mom Emily is an important part of me, perhaps one of my strongest parts, but she’s not *all* of me.

There’s another part of me - many parts in fact - but another leading part of me. And here’s the kicker: she feels almost completely opposite to DIY Mom Emily

Likely you have your version of her too.

This is the part that speaks on stages.
The part that leads conversations.
The part that knows the work I carry has something important to contribute, especially in this moment.
The part who walks in and commands the attention of the room.

I call her “Empress Emily.”

Empress Emily a diva and a star and a Matriarch showing up not just for her family, but the world.

Both of those parts are real. Both are me. Both belong, even in my leadership.

Here’s where I see so many brilliant, powerful women get stuck: they run their lives and businesses primarily based on one particularly loud part (which, does not represent their full being).

They cancel launches they had already mapped out because “it didn’t feel like the right time”

They question a decision they were so flippin’ clear on just yesterday.

They pump the brakes on their own success because it feels... uncomfortable.

It’s an age old saying: Growth happens outside of your comfort zone.

But most people haven’t been taught how to actually navigate that. How to engage with the edge of comfort

Not in a way that bypasses their inner child who’s kind of freaking out,
or bulldozes their extra sensitive part who’s not sure about the plan.

Here’s how we move differently in my world, as Matriarchal Leaders:

We learn to engage our different selves, our conflicting parts, in a dialogue.
To find a way forward that your entire being can get on board with, because this is when and how we find true momentum, progress and success.

I knew I couldn’t bypass DIY Mom Emily. Instead, I engaged in a conversation with her and asked how I could get her on board with what my work is asking of me. And she replied.

I don’t need to tell you all the details of this internal conversation, but I share this as a reminder:

First, you are not just one thing.

You are not just ambitious.
Or sensitive.
Or a devoted mom.

You are many, many things.

And sometimes those different parts will come into conflict. This is resistance.

But there is a healthy way to engage with that resistance, which is something I teach all my clients and have to practice myself, every damn week. Some weeks every damn day.

Being a leader, even one who is rooted in her values and connected to her body, is rarely comfortable. The leaders who actually lead and make a difference are not the ones who experience no resistance at all. They’re the ones who know how to work with it.

And right now—this moment where “everyone is talking about matriarchy”?

Very few people are actually teaching women how to do it. How to be a Matriarch.

That’s the work I’m here to do.
That I’m being asked to show up for in a bigger way.
And it’s the work I’m writing about here.